In the Beginning

Ciao and welcome to the debut blog of ‘What’s Your Venom’! The idea is to review as many bars with a name ‘round cosy lil London (with some serious inebriation on the side, of course) and bring you the results so you don’t have to. I mean honestly, could you not trust a face like mine? *blink blink*

This pretty much was born of my general distaste of *gasp* pub culture and that-bar-with-the-90%-ethanol-shots. Cocktails and finely made drinks are an art, so finding a place where you can really enjoy one well made is a gem;  that’s the bar I’m searching for.

So perhaps we can launch into a first review of the highly spoken of bar, Detroit!

Right. Detroit. Now I’ve heard words high and low about this place, but I will admit: it’s not for the slim of wallet, which explains much of the crowd – comfortable middle class professionals and young things on the way up.

Let’s do this chrono/logically. Firstly, this seems to have gathered it’s name pretty well, considering a Saturday night table was near impossible to get a hand on without a man-on-the-inside 3 days in advance, so advice, cherubs? You better plan ahead. Or make contacts. Former’s easier.

This was not too surprising once in the bar, it ain’t that big, but I must admit, it adds to the atmosphere which has been alternatively been described as ‘cosy’ and ‘intimate’ or ‘holey’ and ‘dungeon-like’. See, if I had to explain the décor, I’d say….you remember the bar the Flintstones used to visit?
Yeah.
But, I must say, they pulled it off! The rocky walls and purple seats aren’t jarring, especially under the small funky orange wall lights – and the bar gets darker the deeper you walk into it, ending with a small stairway into the private room for larger parties – want a lil privacy? Go for the alcoves, great for dates, with benches and curtains to seal you off.

Curtains. *dirty thoughts*

On the topic of décor and visuals, the younger clientele are definitely not hard on the eyes, neither are the bartenders that’s for sure.
"HEY BARTENDER! GET YOUR SEXY LI'L ASS BACK HERE!"
Yes. That was awkward.

On the subject of ‘tenders; service is fantastic. Security was incredibly respectful, bartenders will continually check up on you even in the thickest of crowds and alter drinks to your specifications and will pretty much bend over backwards and prepare drinks off the menu. Not to mention their expertise!

The cocktail list is incredibly varied which is wonderful, but also leaves the danger of alcohol mixing, so one really needs to keep an eye on the ingredients here, luckily the menu is also divided into sections depending on the cocktails’ most notable qualities: The Tropicals, Martinis, etc. The wine list? Average. This place is devoted to cocktails.

The cocktails themselves? Look fabulous, smell inviting enough to not make you recoil in terror of the alcohol content and made with some serious skill – sly ones these are.
Well, all smell inviting enough except for the ‘Overproof’ cocktails, a section devoted to those willing to take on lit overproofed rum and a variety of absinthe cocktails (guess where I was), but again, still fantastic. The ‘Super Premium’ cocktails also worth if you’re willing to throw in a couple more pounds, with champagne and variety of pricier ingredients. These prices make me warn you – choose well. 

J.A. commenting on the ‘Green Demon’ : “This tastes like…AQUAFRESH!”

MUSIC. My my my. Retro and Funk is the bar’s traditional fare, and Saturday was a vinyl night but honestly? DJ didn’t seem to know what he was doing – took a perfectly good song and butchered it – went totally fucking minestrone on it (much like what some of the cocktails were like – sometimes simple is best, cherubs.) Still though, music was alright, but don’t look forward to much dancing. Don’t look for a dancefloor. Even if you do, the crowd doesn’t seem to succumb to the beat, which was such a shame because I would hold that as being my only actual problem with this wonderful bar; this coupled with its early closing times deem it a relaxing/meet-old-friends/pre-party bar. Which would be excellent if the music weren’t so dang loud. Identity crisis, much?

Summary? Great place to meet up with friends and chat, especially on weekdays. Not to mention some of the best cocktails I’ve found in the City, bartenders really do aim to please and please they do. Ambience is fun and funky, music can be good at times, at others…well.

I’ll see myself back here soon =D

Design: 7/10

Drinks: 9/10

Service: 9/10

Quote of the evening:

U.O.: “They’re Norwegian, right?”
The Doctor: “But I thought they were black?”
U.O.: “They ARE.”
The Doctor: “There are black people in Norway?”
U.O.: “Apparently! I’m black and didn’t even know that.”

Detroit Bar

35 Earlham Street
London, WC2 H9LT

Telephone & Website:
+44 20 7240 2662
http://www.detroit-bar.com (Check out the prices here in the 'Menu' section)

Hours:
Mon-Fri: 5pm-12.30am, Sat: 6pm-12.30am (see what I mean by early?)

The blog will also bring you the occasional VLog showing you how to prepare the variety of drinks, cocktails and advice on how to make the most of it -

First I need to get my hands on a camera. And learn how to use MovieMaker.
I can dream =(