Hiatus

Apologies, cherubs, for this short hiatus, busy universities and expensive London is keeping the Doctor busy for the moment, will be back soon, I assure you this! If not next week, then definitely by the 22nd of November.

Remember, a Martini a day - Doctor's Orders.

Ours is not a caravan of despair!

Cherubs! Has been a fortnight since the debut blog post and I suppose it makes a reasonable delay between blogs. Perhaps I should stick to it…

Anyway, today’s blog is dedicated to the Chelsea bar, Rumi, named after the famed Mawlana Jalal ad-Din Muhammad Rumi, Sufi poet and philosopher of the 13^th Century; his origin being  from Turkey or Persia is still debatable, though the debate is pointless;  he rose above race, country, religion and matter itself. My favourite poet of the season, definitely. The title of today’s post coming from one of his works, and also helps express the wonderful times I’ve had at the Rumi Bar.

Though I may have only been there three times, never have I really been disappointed. Tucked away in a shady corner amidst the King’s Road nightlife, Rumi gives one a quiet (well, earlier in the evening at least) space to prepare for a harder night out, or to wind down at after a dinner at nearby Kensington (with those fabulous roof-top restaurants) with some exceptionally respectful doormen wishing you a good evening on the way in.

My first visit here was on a Thursday night, booked with a party of say 20 for a birthday, another large group apparently cancelled their booking last minute, leaving the place to ourselves – which was perfect considering the size of the place.
Like Detroit last week, it’s tiny.

(In comparison, whereas last week’s Detroit could have been considered ‘holey’, Rumi has a particularly intimate and chilled out feel, even in its size.)

At the same time though, it adds a personal touch to it all, but if it’s just you and a couple of pals, book a couch for yourself a couple of days in advance for the weekend, when the distinctively ‘Rumi’ crowd comes in – 20/30-something photographers, models, media types and occasional director mainly; which make for fantastic conversation – confidence makes much of it.

Recreating the ‘atmosphere of Rumi’, the bar is decorated in soft brown hues and incredibly dim lighting with a very pseudo-Arabian feel, yet at the same time, I couldn’t help but feel there was something...missing in the design. Couches lining the wall, check. Peppered with cushions EVERYWHERE, check. Mini chandeliers and curtains trailing the roof, check and check. Bronzed Morroccan tables and candles. Final check. Yet a sense of under-furnishing pervades it, and I don’t mean that disgusting retro-minimalism trend in bar design these days (see, Light Bar). Perhaps the size has instigated that in order to make a dancing/mingling space...it also makes it difficult to chat with other friends when in large groups.

Yet it doesn’t ruin the sense of calm pervading the place, Ivory opium pipes would be fantastic additions here.

Now, if only the bartenders could tend to you like they would at an Opium house. Service is excellent, no doubt. Bartenders are polite and will prepare many classic cocktails off the menu and never ignore a customer waiting at the bar, but they aren’t the type to check up on the customers at their seats – understandably, most ‘tenders don’t, but in most bars of this size and of this quality, they do. At the same time, if you’re nice enough and remind them that it’s your birthday, they might even keep the bar open an hour longer for you (^_^)

Cocktails. Were. Beautiful. Whilst not necessarily the most extensive in London, it is superb, and as aforementioned, classics off the menu can and will be prepared on order. The ‘Cocktail’ and ‘Martini’ sections are priced at £7.50 with stars like Blood Orange (Absolut Mandarin with orange juice, raspberry and lime) and the utterly fantastic Socialite, Stoli Raspberry Vodka shaken with Vanilla liqueur, Apple juice Chambord and Strawberry puree.

And if a cocktail can impress me.
It’s probably worth it.

As for the ‘Martini’ section; if you’re a Martini purist, this will not impress you. Honestly.

A pair of ‘Champagne Cocktails’ at £8 like the Eldervice, Plymouth Gin shaken with Elderflower cordial, Apple juice, and top with Champagne are worth the extra 50p; ‘Champagne’ bottles for every budget ranging from £45>55 (eh) to £70 (much better) to £140 Dom Perignon>250 Cristal (maybe the next time I get paid >_<) to ‘Spirit’ bottles in the £100-something range.

‘Shooters’ at £3.50 and ‘Premium Shooters’ at £4 are a short list, but fun none the less, request a classic Slippery Nipple if you like; but over here, the La Fee (Black Sambuca and La Fee Absinthe layered) strikes a face-contorting favourite of mine.

‘Wine List’. Disappointing. A tiny list with none that range over £20 a bottle which usually are... Well. You know. The absence of Chardonnay is sad. Then again, Rumi is about the cocktails that drag you back here again and again, even their £5 ‘Virgin Cocktails’ are worth it (which reminds me, Asahi beer. None else for you beer drinkers).  

Prices here are incredibly reasonable for the area, believe you me!

When booking tables, inform Manoj, the delightfully patient manager, whether you want food served or not, and specify (Menu on website). Food is also reasonable with a distinct Lebanese fusion taste, worth the bite.

Early evenings can start with chilled out acoustics and soul and proceed to House and RnB later on (drown it out with alcohol if you must, I forgive you, ‘cause I did too). But I suppose they make good party tunes when you’re a bit off it after the La Fee’s and Socialites.

Summary, cherubs? I do like Rumi’s. True, the music may not be run by a genius DJ, but hell, with drinks like that and such wonderful staff, it balances out. Design and atmosphere really allows one to relax, at the same time, the dance floor and party tunes can give you a reason to dance the night away with some rather intriguing and respectable (well, most of the time) bar patrons. Some advice? Keep checking the website and call in advance for bookings, their events are really quite random and private hires are common.
Helpful hint: Make a pal out of the bar manager and invitations texted to you from him for last minute parties are common =D

And in the name of the immortal poet: Come, come, whoever you are; Ours is not a caravan of despair.

Design: 7

Drinks: 8

Service: 7

Rumi Bar

531 Kings Rd
London, SW10 0TZ

Telephone & Website:
020 78233362
http://www.rumibar.com

Hours:

As aforementioned, check the site for the events list and call and check for bookings. The hours can change depending.

...

Stop being so damn lazy and just CALL, jeez.

If anyone would like to have a bar/club reviewed, you're welcome to send a request.

Until next time, cherubs; adios!

In the Beginning

Ciao and welcome to the debut blog of ‘What’s Your Venom’! The idea is to review as many bars with a name ‘round cosy lil London (with some serious inebriation on the side, of course) and bring you the results so you don’t have to. I mean honestly, could you not trust a face like mine? *blink blink*

This pretty much was born of my general distaste of *gasp* pub culture and that-bar-with-the-90%-ethanol-shots. Cocktails and finely made drinks are an art, so finding a place where you can really enjoy one well made is a gem;  that’s the bar I’m searching for.

So perhaps we can launch into a first review of the highly spoken of bar, Detroit!

Right. Detroit. Now I’ve heard words high and low about this place, but I will admit: it’s not for the slim of wallet, which explains much of the crowd – comfortable middle class professionals and young things on the way up.

Let’s do this chrono/logically. Firstly, this seems to have gathered it’s name pretty well, considering a Saturday night table was near impossible to get a hand on without a man-on-the-inside 3 days in advance, so advice, cherubs? You better plan ahead. Or make contacts. Former’s easier.

This was not too surprising once in the bar, it ain’t that big, but I must admit, it adds to the atmosphere which has been alternatively been described as ‘cosy’ and ‘intimate’ or ‘holey’ and ‘dungeon-like’. See, if I had to explain the décor, I’d say….you remember the bar the Flintstones used to visit?
Yeah.
But, I must say, they pulled it off! The rocky walls and purple seats aren’t jarring, especially under the small funky orange wall lights – and the bar gets darker the deeper you walk into it, ending with a small stairway into the private room for larger parties – want a lil privacy? Go for the alcoves, great for dates, with benches and curtains to seal you off.

Curtains. *dirty thoughts*

On the topic of décor and visuals, the younger clientele are definitely not hard on the eyes, neither are the bartenders that’s for sure.
"HEY BARTENDER! GET YOUR SEXY LI'L ASS BACK HERE!"
Yes. That was awkward.

On the subject of ‘tenders; service is fantastic. Security was incredibly respectful, bartenders will continually check up on you even in the thickest of crowds and alter drinks to your specifications and will pretty much bend over backwards and prepare drinks off the menu. Not to mention their expertise!

The cocktail list is incredibly varied which is wonderful, but also leaves the danger of alcohol mixing, so one really needs to keep an eye on the ingredients here, luckily the menu is also divided into sections depending on the cocktails’ most notable qualities: The Tropicals, Martinis, etc. The wine list? Average. This place is devoted to cocktails.

The cocktails themselves? Look fabulous, smell inviting enough to not make you recoil in terror of the alcohol content and made with some serious skill – sly ones these are.
Well, all smell inviting enough except for the ‘Overproof’ cocktails, a section devoted to those willing to take on lit overproofed rum and a variety of absinthe cocktails (guess where I was), but again, still fantastic. The ‘Super Premium’ cocktails also worth if you’re willing to throw in a couple more pounds, with champagne and variety of pricier ingredients. These prices make me warn you – choose well. 

J.A. commenting on the ‘Green Demon’ : “This tastes like…AQUAFRESH!”

MUSIC. My my my. Retro and Funk is the bar’s traditional fare, and Saturday was a vinyl night but honestly? DJ didn’t seem to know what he was doing – took a perfectly good song and butchered it – went totally fucking minestrone on it (much like what some of the cocktails were like – sometimes simple is best, cherubs.) Still though, music was alright, but don’t look forward to much dancing. Don’t look for a dancefloor. Even if you do, the crowd doesn’t seem to succumb to the beat, which was such a shame because I would hold that as being my only actual problem with this wonderful bar; this coupled with its early closing times deem it a relaxing/meet-old-friends/pre-party bar. Which would be excellent if the music weren’t so dang loud. Identity crisis, much?

Summary? Great place to meet up with friends and chat, especially on weekdays. Not to mention some of the best cocktails I’ve found in the City, bartenders really do aim to please and please they do. Ambience is fun and funky, music can be good at times, at others…well.

I’ll see myself back here soon =D

Design: 7/10

Drinks: 9/10

Service: 9/10

Quote of the evening:

U.O.: “They’re Norwegian, right?”
The Doctor: “But I thought they were black?”
U.O.: “They ARE.”
The Doctor: “There are black people in Norway?”
U.O.: “Apparently! I’m black and didn’t even know that.”

Detroit Bar

35 Earlham Street
London, WC2 H9LT

Telephone & Website:
+44 20 7240 2662
http://www.detroit-bar.com (Check out the prices here in the 'Menu' section)

Hours:
Mon-Fri: 5pm-12.30am, Sat: 6pm-12.30am (see what I mean by early?)

The blog will also bring you the occasional VLog showing you how to prepare the variety of drinks, cocktails and advice on how to make the most of it -

First I need to get my hands on a camera. And learn how to use MovieMaker.
I can dream =(