Okay, the title is horrible.
Well, DEAL WITH IT. It’s a cruel, cruel world and sometimes titles suck. Like my long hiatus and a cocktail made by a dumbass with no training in the field (yes, I’m talking to you, Parisian-bartender-that-made-a-Manhattan-taste-like-cat-refuse).
Okay, I shan’t be a total let down and say that Parisians can’t make cocktails, I mean, I subsisted on about 6 Kir Royales a day for a week, but after a few total disasters at more than one bar and café, I learnt to steer clear.
Yes, the Doctor likes a drink every couple of hours, have you an issue?
Anyway, for the sake of fairness, there were decent drinks at fairly pricey bars, in fact, I suppose I’ll make a supplementary Parisian bar review this week, in case you’re on the continent soon =)
Now, to our review!
Our new target is unmissable on an insomniac Londoner’s favourite street: Wardour of Soho. The O Bar has held its place on Wardour for a decade now, and still fills up to full capacity on the weekend – decent work there.
Mind you, the shots and strong and prices reasonable. I have stumbled out of this place once in a while, once with a chipped tooth. Had a fantastic time – but one can enjoy themselves anywhere, with the right company, even at a car impound lot.
Actually, a car impound lot sounds like a LOT of fun.
But, I am here to critique, and cut and slice and narrow bars down to their essence: the design, the crowd, the music, the service and most importantly: the drinks.
Entry is free before 10PM, 5 quid after – in a perfect world, I wouldn’t pay that much to get in the O, but in this area, the free bars aren’t even worth a sniff. Get there at 9.30 and make the most of it.
If you happen to be around after ten, look for one of their flyers floating around Wardour for a discount.
The bar consists of three floors: the main bar, the dance floor below and the VIP room above, strictly private bookings. The dance floor has two alcoves (the website says for 20 people each: bullscheisse) and a tiny table for 6 that can be booked in advance.
There isn’t much to be said about the design, really. A few tables pepper the room, near the coveted red seats lining the walls – banquettes line the large windows to Brewer street. It’s often described as ‘intimate’ but the music is far, far too loud to allow any sort of intimacy to be honest – the O Bar always struck me as a get-here-get-pissed kinda place.
With that note, we retreat to the lower dance floor. Design is not its strong suit. Not particularly aesthetically pleasing or imaginative, this floor’s two alcoves are probably what you should aim for, secluded enough for a conversation, and a good resting place between dances, which is probably the only reason you should be down here, anyway.
The upper VIP room is full (FULL) of leather couches for a room that small, accompanied by little bar and out-of-order fireplace. Probably the least interesting place in the bar. Save your money and just get a seat downstairs. If you think I’m being harsh because you’ve already booked it for your birthday – well, I apologise….That you have to celebrate your birthday here. Seriously, what possessed you? In all honesty, stay downstairs. Cheaper and much more fun.
Music is charts – requests hardly ever taken. One night infuriated many a patron with the DJ playing the same playlist OVER AND OVER AGAIN. There’s only so much ‘Tonight’s gonna be a good night’ one can take in an evening. I get it. It’s gonna be a good night.
Speaking of patrons, well, one can tire of the first few hundred gropes and slurring late night invites. Not to mention that it’s a small space and flailing is not particularly recommended as a dance step.
Service is what you’d expect; we’re not exactly at the Connaught. Go up to the bar, ask what you want. Bartenders are incredibly blasé and do their job, although there is the occasional flirtatious employee and everyone’s gotta love the Jager girls. This bar was once popular for Italian waitress, Antonella who is sadly not with them anymore, but c’est la vie – although her absence has resulted in the O Bar losing some of its flair for me, my pals, and all the other reviewers of the bar who have mentioned her fantastic service – she’s the type to check on you every five minutes with a new shot, a new joke, a new story and somehow manage to get you to dance with her on the reinforced bar top.
Correction, did I say this place was reasonable? Well. Maybe not so much since the up in prices recently. We’re looking at £3.90 for a ‘single shooter’ and £6.90 for a double. Damn. Especially considering that that there are only 8 of them: classics none the less. Some of my loves like Slippery Nipples and Blowjobs to the less savoury Cherry Bombs. One thing that sets me aflame here is the much more affordable prices for shooters at Rumi (see: ‘Ours is not a caravan of despair!’, update 11th October, 2009) and the imagination that went into those shooters.
Imagination is definitely not a strong point here, is it? Although I love the 50+ cocktail list, they’re all old favourites. No creativity, no risk, no effort. ‘Cocktails’ come at £6.50 (notably cheaper than the double shooters – what?) and £16 a jug. Not much need of elaboration here really, you’ll find these drinks at your local Wetherspoons (lord, damn the place).
Six ‘Champagne Cocktails’ at £7.50 – and a short list of cheap wines. Champagnes are a difficult choice because you might have the strictly decent £43 Pommery Brut Rose or the much more expensive £135 Dom Perignon – nothing in between in terms of price/quality.
Okay, so maybe the drinks could use more imagination, but what about the bartenders? When it comes to making the drinks, they do what they’re told. Strictly. I noticed how only one bartender took the time to cater the drink to all the senses, making sure, for example, to not let the alcohol’s stench overpower the taste through a few simple maneuvers. The rest couldn’t care less. Not saying the drinks were bad, not saying they were worth noting either.
I find it bitterly hilarious how the website mentions to check out their nonexistent food menu. Just saying.
In conclusion, cherubs? Well. The O Bar, as I said before, has entertained me, but only as long as I am with my closest, hardest, drinking fellows who can nail 11 Blowjobs in a night and carry the Doctor back to his practice. The design is negligible, since the place is usually too crowded. Not much seating for said crowd. Not exactly the best crowd, either. Variety of decently made drinks is good, but original they are not. Service is decent. Music, charts for me may not be fantastic, but the majority enjoys it.
Hurrah for mediocrity!
Design: 5
Drinks: 5
Service: 5
Quote of the Evening:
“ANTONELLA! 5 MORE BLOWJOBS, STAT!”
The O Bar
83-85 Wardour Street, London
W1D 6QD
Telephone, Email and Website:
0207 434 9413
info@obarsoho.co.uk
http://www.the-obar.co.uk
Hours:
Mon-Thu: 4pm-3am; Fri-Sat: 2pm-3am; Sun: 2pm-10.30pm
